There are some divorces that go amicably, with the spouses quickly coming to an agreement on all issues. When disagreements arise, whether they be over the home, the children, or the money, the parties involved may try to resolve their differences via mediation, and if that doesn’t work, they can take their case to court. Albion Mediation is here to help families NOW.
However, there are situations when there is just no logical explanation, and you find yourself in the middle of a contentious, drawn-out divorce in which there is no possibility of reaching a compromise. If you are aware of the possibility that this is where you are going from the beginning, you will be better equipped to make decisions that will reduce the amount of stress you feel and provide better results for you and your children.
The personalities of the people going through the divorce may be some of the most contentious and difficult problems to resolve. It does not matter what culture, gender, or economic standing a person has – there are no rules – some individuals are just high conflict and belligerent. It is essential to be able to recognise these tendencies in others and be familiar with how to deal with them.
Personalities prone to high levels of conflict:
· pointing the finger at others in every situation, even to the point of making it an obsession to do so
· very manipulative, coercive, and dominating – both deliberately and subconsciously. This trait is exemplified by the following characteristics:
· incapable of taking responsibility for their actions.
· having a limited capacity for both self-reflection and introspection.
· an attitude of “do or die,” in which one either succeeds or fails completely.
· emotional outbursts, which destabilise the confrontation and force the attention to shift from negotiating a reasonable result to controlling the explosion.
· using threats to the spouse as well as the legal representative in order to acquire what they want, such as saying things like “If you don’t do this, I’ll report you to the law society.”
These individuals might have a singular focus to the point of obsession, be fiercely competitive, and be dogged in their pursuit of “winning.” Their never-ending difficulties may wear everyone involved down to the point of exhaustion. If you are aware that you will be interacting with a personality like this, it may be beneficial to consider speaking with a therapist or counsellor who can assist you in maintaining perspective and equilibrium. They will be able to provide you with guidance on how to handle the personality in issue, which will enable you to keep your sanity during the remainder of the procedure.
When looking at a personality that is prone to high levels of conflict, there are likely to be behaviours that appear throughout the processes even if they haven’t previously done so during the relationship itself.
These behaviours include the following:
· continuous and high-volume contact by email, text, or other electronic means
· the importance of having a restraining order in place
· maltreatment of any kind, whether it physical, financial, emotional, or psychological
· a litigator who is confrontational and engages in high levels of conflict like
Dealing with high-conflict individuals may make the experience so much more worthwhile, which beggars belief considering how difficult divorce always is. When dealing with people who are unable of seeing the implications of their own actions and how those actions may be contributing to the issue at hand, it may be challenging to make any headway in the situation. It has been reported that some instances of this kind, particularly those involving very young children, have continued for more than a decade.
If you suspect you could be dealing with someone like this, arming yourself with as much information as possible on how to handle the situation is essential. Knowledge is power. You will have a fantastic perspective and knowledge of them, how they operate, and how to bring the matter to a quicker resolution as a result of this. Employ a legal representation who has expertise working with people who have a history of being antagonistic to you if you have the opportunity to do so.
However, going via a mediator is an excellent way to get things started. Mediation is preferable for a number of reasons, including financial and emotional ones; it is less confrontational, less expensive, and may take place entirely in secret while keeping all of your best interests in mind. In the United Kingdom, going through mediation is required before filing a petition with the family court. Even if you think your partner won’t be interested in private mediation, the possibility of everything being made public in the courts is a great way to convince them to be more open to the idea. Even if the mediation doesn’t work out, they may at least give it a shot, which is better for everyone involved.
The Alion Mediation and Its History
The Family Mediation is a team of independent family mediators that assist divorcing and separated families in reaching an agreement outside of the court system rather than battling it out in the legal system.
Depending on the specifics of your case, you could be eligible for financial assistance from the government to cover the cost of family mediation.
Please get in touch with The Family Mediation .
Simply phoning any of our independent family mediators will put you in direct touch with them. If you click on this link, you will also be able to send a message that is kept private.